Rotten Eggs

Well, I survived the egg retrieval yesterday morning - and was actually rather impressed with the care and attention that I received from my RE and the nurses at the clinic. Beyond all, I was nervous about two things - the dreaded IV and the number of eggs they would be able to extract. My RE very kindly placed the IV into the crook of my arm (so it really wasn't any worse than having a blood test), but the whole egg situation did not go as smoothly...

Once the drugs started, I was definitely feeling loopy - but could still feel some pain. However, after I (very loudly) yelped in pain, the nurse upped the dose of pain meds and I was feeling fine. The RE emptied the first follicle, handed the embryologist the tube, and about thirty seconds later, the embryologist yelled back "I don't see anything." Alright; on to follicle #2 then. Once that got drained and sent back to the embryologist, it wasn't before long when she called out, "Nothing." Imagine my panic during this whole thing - there I was, completely doped up, spread-eagled on the operating table, and all I am hearing is that they aren't getting anything out of my follies!!!

At this point, the RE requested that the embryologist test the follicular fluid for traces of HCG - if there was no trace, then this would have been indicative that the eggs did not release from the follicle walls and therefore there was no point in going any further. About five minutes later, we determined that there was HCG in the fluid, so the RE pressed on...

We finally got an egg out of follicle #3, to which the lovely nurse next to me applauded and whispered "Yaaaaay!" in my ear. At this point, I was really out of it - and panicked. But when all was said and done, I discovered that they were able to get six eggs in total from my follies.

Whilst in the recovery room, the embryologist came by to give us the news - out of the six eggs, three were borderline mature, and three were flat-out immature. She explained that she would have to clean off the "accessory cells" in order to determine if my borderlines were indeed mature, and that they would do their best to ICSI the maximum number that they could.

I spent the night in a fair amount of pain, and in a fair amount of tears. And I did a lot of praying.

Bright and early this morning, the embryologist from the clinic called to deliver even more bad news - out of the six eggs, three were mature, but only one fertilized. And he told me that we are dealing with a very "serious egg issue..."

So many questions are racing through my mind. How could this be? Why did we not know that I have rotten eggs? I had worked so hard to grow my little eggies - and had done everything that I was expected to. How can this be fixed? Can this be fixed? And the ultimate question - Why me?

All we can do now is pray for our one little embryo - pray that he's a little fighter and that he'll make it to transfer. All I am asking for is this one chance to be a mom.

Just this one chance.