Again.
I honestly don't know why I expected to be.  I guess it was the addition of the royal jelly and the coenzyme q-10 and all of that acupuncture.  I was expecting all of those things to be working their magic on my ovaries - thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would shoot out one perfect egg this month that would joyously unite with a sperm to create our special child.
Nope.
So - textbook example of self-flagellation...
I was sick last week and stayed home from work one morning.  What did I do?  Watch episode after episode of A Baby Story on TLC.  There I was - head completely clogged, entirely unable breathe properly, and I was bawling because of all of the births that I was witnessing.  Thinking to myself, my God - I'll never have that moment in my life.  It will never happen for me.  I will never have the chance to feel my baby kicking or see my baby's ultrasound or yell at my husband for telling me to push harder!!  I was a blubbering mess.
Why does it have to be this way?  I have asked this question time and time again, but I will ask it one more time - Why does it have to be so hard?
 
5 comments:
Oh SR, I wish I had the answer for you... from experience all I can say is keep the faith and it will eventually happen... even if it did take me 4 years :(
Hugs!
Oh Springroll, I read your post wrong and missed the not in the title. My heart is so heavy for you. I wish that it was different. I also wish I had the answer for you. I will keep you and DH in my prayers and hopefully it will happen really soon.
Big Hugs!!
Jennielynn
Oh Springroll, I don't have anything good to say. I'm so sorry. Huge hugs.
T.
I am so sorry. (((HUGS)))
Oh sweetie, I wish I knew why too. The one thing I do understand is how hard it is. Sending you hugs.
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