Wow! Learn something new everyday...

Like the maniacal researcher that I am, I have begun to read anything and everything that there is about IVF and ICSI...and let me tell you, it ain't exactly making me comfortable with the whole thing...

For example, ICSI (the process by which the sperm is injected directly into the egg, thereby causing fertilization) has its downside. One of them is that in forcing the sperm into the egg, the egg could become damaged or destroyed! That really sucks! An egg that my little body works overtime to produce, and that was otherwise a normal, juicy egg, could get destroyed? As well, apparently there is a concern by some that ICSI could cause fetal abnormalities or birth defects. This belief is due to the fact that there is no telling what the quality of the sperm is that is being injected into the egg. *However, I read in a subsequent study that IVF/ICSI babies had no higher rate of birth defects than children naturally conceived. As well, this study showed the IVF/ICSI babies had the same cognitive abilities as naturally conceived children. I felt much better after seeing that!

And the process of "gathering my eggs"? Let me tell you, it's not a scene out of the church picnic on Easter Sunday. I have to be sedated (gak!) and a needle is going to pass through the top of my woo-hoo, and into the ovaries. And apparently, this procedure carries a risk of internal damage and infection. Great.

I love the disclaimers/waivers that DH and I have to sign for this whole thing...yes, we understand that the eggs might not fertilize...or that it might not implant...or that treatment may have to be cancelled due to overstimulation. We were told at the clinic that for women my age, the success rate is 56% (using fresh sperm). Beats the hell out of the 10-13% chance we were facing with IUI. We'll take it!

So I dropped off the registration form this morning, along with my deposit. And now the waiting starts.

Okay, despite this panicked entry, I am excited about it. Stay positive, right? That's all I can do right now.

Stay positive.