Here You Come Again...

Okay, so I'm laughing inside my head right now, as I sing the old, old song "Here You Come Again" by Dolly Parton. Strange? Yes. Weird? Absolutely. And yet, the lyrics are so fitting - "Here you come again/just when I'd begun to get myself together/You walked right in the door/Just like you've done before/And wrapped my heart 'round your little fingers..."

Who, you may ask, am I referring to?

Why, my friend AF, of course. 'Cept she hasn't wrapped my heart around her fingers in a good way - she' s broken it. She wrapped it around her fingers, crumpled it up, and threw it on the ground. Stomped on it for good measure. And here I am today.

Sigh. Yup - no pregnancy for me this month. After being a day late (and after toying with my emotions a bit), AF decided to wreck the start of my long weekend by showing up yesterday. And after taking a hiatus from crying about it (I haven't cried now for about three months), my husband found me in my den with two big, fat tears creeping down my face.

So what does one do? Regroup, I suppose.

I called in AF to the "period hotline" at my clinic, as I am supposed to do each month while on the IVF waitlist. Don't you love that name? "Period Hotline". Like I'm calling in some criminal that I just witnessed breaking into the local convenience store. When you think about it, AF really is a big, fat lowlife criminal, isn't she? Unfortunately, though, I don't get any kind of reward for calling her in...

DH and I are now grappling with timing for our IVF. See, a lot of the girls that attend our clinic and who have started cycling this month were called off the waiting list after calling in their AF four times. This morning's phone call was number four for me. So if we get called this month, I would be starting drugs in June, with an egg retrieval and embryo transfer in early July. Normally, this would be great news - but I am a school principal, and trying to close out a school year is stressful enough without the help of fertility drugs. DH and I are worried that this will not optimize conditions to make IVF successful. Lots to think about. But I suppose, like all other things that we have had to deal with, we'll get through it...

Off to enjoy the sunshine now - perhaps do some reading and snuggle with my DH. Spend some time thinking about all of the good things that I have in life...