Thursday, August 27, 2009

Back to School!

Well, it was the first day of school today. So much whining, grumbling and crying - and that was from me!! All kidding aside, I do love the first day! All of the kids are excited to see their friends and meet their new teachers. There are new books to read and fresh crayons to colour with. Such a great time.

I have been literally run off my feet in this last week trying to prepare for the first day. My staff was in on Tuesday, and it seems I have been in meeting after meeting after meeting. But when the dust settled, and the dismissal bell had rung, it turned out to be a fantastic day! (Let's hope it turns out to be a great year!)

Unfortunately, despite my very best efforts to wear loose tops to disguise my burgeoning belly, I had more than one nosy parent and just a couple of nosy teachers asking me if I was hiding a bump. Quite frankly, I find this question unbelievably rude. Although I know that it is well-intentioned, the "asker" has absolutely no idea what is happening in the life of the "askee". What if the "askee" had been suffering through years of infertility (as in my situation) and they had just simply gained weight? What then? How would they feel if, in their quest for a juicy tidbit to gossip about, they caused great pain to someone else? The ease with which some people don't think twice about asking intrusive questions really makes me shake my head.

In any case - an update on my little "bump"...

We have nicknamed our baby Dim Sum. We went for an 8 week ultrasound yesterday, and there our little one was, tiny heart beating away at 168 bpm. We are so in love.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Most Beautiful Picture in the World...

Boy, were we excited yesterday!

DH and I got up and got ourselves ready quickly for our 9:30 a.m. ultrasound. We arrived at EFW Radiology at about 9:20 or so, and spent some time waiting (rather impatiently) before we were called in. I wasn't certain whether the first ultrasound was trans-vaginal or abdominal, so I had gone with a full bladder, which made the wait slightly more torturous. But when we got called in, I got myself changed quickly into the paper gown (stunning and stylish, those things...) and settled onto the table while the ultrasound tech went to fetch my husband.

My darling husband entered the room, the tech explained the procedures, and the screen got turned on.

Then - we saw the most beautiful picture in the world....

One gestational sac, with a little fetus inside, and a tiny flashing light which we learned was the heart beating. We have one little baby growing in my tummy, measuring exactly on schedule, with a heartbeat of 113 bpm. The tech said that anything above 100 was good, so we were happy. She took different measurements, checked my ovaries and fallopian tubes to ensure that none of the other embryos had accidentally implanted there, and then told us that everything looked great. We let out a sigh of relief and then left.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little sad that the other two musketeers hadn't made it...although we certainly didn't expect to be carrying triplets, it would have been great to see one of the other embies surviving the transfer too. But this certainly does not mean that we aren't thrilled with our little egg roll, and that we aren't grateful that we have been blessed like this.

Each morning that I wake up, I thank God for another day with our baby. I will continue to hope and pray that this little one hangs in there...and that we get to see him/her grow and develop as these next nine months pass.

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Worrying Doesn't End...

I've always known that the worrying wouldn't end.

We have spent almost three years worrying about the fact that we couldn't get pregnant. And now that we are, I spend countless hours worrying that the pregnancy isn't a strong one. In fact, since our first home pregnancy test and beta, I have taken 5 more home pregnancy tests just so that I can see that strong "+" sign. Sigh. Could I possibly be anymore neurotic?!

As my fertility clinic only does one beta test (which strikes me as odd, considering pregnancies resulting from IVFs really should be monitored more closely at the onset...), I was going crazy trying to figure out whether or not my hcg was doubling (not knowing this was adding to my worries exponentially!!) So on Friday, I rang up my family physician's office and the nurse very kindly faxed a beta recquisition over to the local lab. I managed to see the doctor this morning - and was told that my beta was at 3992 (taken 21dp3dt). Phew. That definitely made me feel a lot better!

As for symptoms - thankfully, I've not experienced much nausea yet. I have definitely had moments when strong odours make me whoozy, and there have been times when the thought of certain foods turns me off, but I have been just fine for the most part (knock on wood!) The bloating is still there, as are the sore boobies. I'll take it all if it means that my little Musketeers are growing healthy and strong inside me!

Next on the agenda is our first ultrasound - scheduled for the day after tomorrow. DH and I can't wait to find out how many Musketeers are snuggling in there!! Whatever the number - the most important thing will be to actually see a sac, with a tiny fetus inside. And if we're lucky - maybe we'll see the flutter of a heartbeat!!!

We can't wait...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

463

What a beautiful number.

This is what my beta levels were at when I went for the official test yesterday (15dp3dt). I worried much of the night that I would get a low beta result...which in my mind could reflect a weak pregnancy. But nope - my beta was 463, and the nurse said that it was a good, strong number.

How many times could I possibly express my gratitude - to God, to my family, and to all of my cyberfriends? This has been such a long ride, and now I am finally beginning to feel as though I get to be happy!

Our first ultrasound is booked for August 12, 2009 - that's when we'll find out how many babies there are in there! Right now, I'm just grateful to be pregnant - one, two or three is irrelevant to me.

XOXO

Friday, July 31, 2009

Our Prayers Have Been Answered!

Wow.

DH woke up before me this morning, and gently kissed me awake. I lay in bed, crying and telling him that I didn't want to go and test because I was scared of the outcome, but my amazing DH held me and told me how much he loved me and how whatever the outcome, we would deal with it together. So off I went, stick in hand.

After peeing on the stick, I brought it up to cap and noticed that the "+" sign had immediately appeared. I exclaimed, "HONEY!! WE'RE PREGNANT!!" The hilarious part of it was - I wasn't even finished peeing yet!!

I never, ever thought that I would get the chance to see a positive pregnancy test. I feel so blessed - and am still having a hard time believing that this day has come.

Thank you to all of my "cyber-friends" for their love and support - we will be walking on eggshells for the next couple of weeks until our first u/s at the clinic, but right now I am so thrilled to announce -

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Faith

"And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for" 1 John 5:14-15

I found this scripture on a thread where women were posting their IVF successes (see thread here ). Yes - I have been googling like mad (someone, quick, smash my computer!!!) and trying to read up on the successes of other women who were around my age, had a similar Rx, got a similar amount of eggs fertilized, and who transferred embryos that were about the same as my three Musketeers. Maniacal? Yes. Ridiculous? Absolutely. They definitely need a different name for this stage fo the IVF process - something more dramatic than "The Two Week Wait".

Then I found this scripture, written at the bottom of one girl's post - and you know what? It calmed me.

I have done so much praying this week - and I know that God has been listening. I can only hope that it is His will that we are blessed with children.

9dp3dt. Can this week possibly get any longer?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

4dp3dt

Okay, despite my best efforts to lay low, I can't help but pop on here to write about how these past few days have been for me...

DH has been in Montreal on business, so my wonderful, amazing, fantastical parents came to stay with me so that they could help take care of me! They have been so sweet - my Dad has cooked for me and my Mom has helped me in different ways, whether it's been doing my laundry or helping to empty to the dishwasher. They've also been chauffering me around, because my Mom firmly believes that the stress of driving in Calgary (...yes, for all of you Calgarians out there, you know how terrible our traffic and infrastructure is!!) is not good for the embies. So I've been pampered and spoiled beyond belief. The best thing so far? The fried egg sandwiches that my dad has made me for breakfast. Healthy? Nope. But good? Absolutely!!

I've been feeling great, aside from some slight constipation issues. I attended the wedding on Saturday of one of DH's best friends (DH was in the bridal party), but only the reception in the evening (so that I could rest during the day). I even snuck in one slow dance with my incredibly handsome husband (don't tell my Mom!!) and left early enough to still feel well rested. The rest of the days have passed by without much to comment on - couple of naps here and there, some trips to the grocery store (with my Dad to hold the basket) and lots of time spent on the computer just surfing and reading about what I should be doing post-transfer.

One thing that has been different is the cramping - I have had cramps on and off since the transfer. The cerebral side of me knows that it's simple the side effects of the progesterone and estrogen that I am pumping myself full of right now. The emotional side of me hopes that it's because our little Musketeers are snuggling in and getting ready to put a down payment on this womb-for-rent.

Ah, the Musketeers. I talk to them every day, encouraging them to stick around. If I am not mistaken, it's implantation time right about now. I am wishing with all of my might that there is magic happening right this very minute - and that God has blessed us with one or two little ones.