Has it really been over a month?
Yes, I have been a neglectful blogger. Things at work have been stressful, crazy, anxiety-inducing, and every other negative adjective imaginable...I'm just glad that the school year is over! Seriously, it really wasn't a great year, so given the fact that we had originally been offered the chance to do another IVF cycle in early June, I am so glad that we made the decision to defer...doing it while the craziness was happening would have been such a waste of finances and emotion.
So here we are. Third cycle. Three days into stimming. And I'm feeling optimistic.
Although I must admit, I had myself a little meltdown on Tuesday evening - my first day with all of my little pills and injections. Because they have me on such a complex protocol this time around, there is a distinct increase not only in the dosages I am on, but also in the types of drugs I have to manage. I am on estrogen patches, vaginal estrogen tablets, antibiotics, gonal f, cetrotide, and low dose aspirin. Throw in a little royal jelly and coenzyme q-10 for egg quality, pre-natal vitamins for baby's health, and I am a walking pharmacy. I was so overwhelmed by it all - keeping track of it, making sure I take it all on time, etc. - that I crawled into bed and cried on Tuesday night. But that's the only cry I am allowing myself for now - right this minute, I am optimistic.
My goal is to create healthy eggs. I don't even necessarily need a ton of eggs (though last night while I was lying in bed trying to coax myself to sleep, I was thinking that 8 would be a nice round number - it even looks like two eggs, one on top of the other!!) I just want to make some healthy eggs that will fertilize beautifully and make nice little embryos that have the strength to burrow in for the long haul...or for at least nine months. I am so much better prepared for this cycle - months and months of acupuncture, Chinese herbs, royal jelly, and coenzyme q10 have got to count for something!
I go for my Day 5 ultrasound and bloodwork on Saturday morning - our first peek into what's going on in those ovaries of mine.
Did I mention that I'm feeling optimistic?