Thursday, March 27, 2008

Double or Triple Scoop?

Okay, so I haven't left for Mexico yet...but I am definitely counting down the days!

I had my appointment with my new gynecologist/obstretician to talk about my polyp and it was a great appointment. She's funny and open and took the time to listen and answer questions. I had asked her how long the polyp had been there, how big it was, and if the polyp was the reason that none of my IUIs "took", and she revealed something interesting to me:

She wrestled with infertility for five years. She had 8 IUIs, and 5 IVFs. She said she knew exactly where I was going with my questions, but said she was going to "check (her) emotions at the door and say no, the polyp didn't have any impact." She then went on to tell me a bit about her own experiences and how she struggled. At the end of her fourth IVF cycle (failed), she was told by the fertility clinic that the next IVF would be her last one at that clinic, because they couldn't help her anymore. She said she was devastated and was scared to death that she wouldn't have her own biological child. She told me that not even a breast cancer scare she had had earlier on had put that kind of fear into her heart.

But one day she had this amazing revelation that she firmly believes helped her. Her turning point was when she truly, genuinely accepted in her core that she would be okay if she didn't have children. This brought comfort into her soul. And she conceived on her fifth and final IVF.

I tell ya, it totally helps to be working with someone who has been through it all.

Okay, so you are probably wondering where the title of today's post comes from...

During this appointment, the doctor talked to me briefly about preparing my body for the IVF, and she said "Don't let them put 3 embryos back. Maximum 2." I asked her why, and she explained that triplet conceptions increase the risk exponentially of children born with severe difficulties, like cerebral palsy. She said that it should be illegal for fertility clinics to put in more than 2, and that as an obstretician, she has seen a lot of IVF pregnancies where more than 2 were put back, resulting in some sad results.

Now, DH and I had always planned on asking for 3, as this is likely our one and only IVF that we can afford to do. And of course, there is never any guarantee that any of them will implant anyway!! So now what?

Does anyone out there have any experience or advice on this - two or three? I'd love to hear from ya!


Tanya said...

I was just wondering if you'd looked into the Generations of Hope thing? I saw the flyers when I was in the clinic. I don't know how they determine who they help but it might be worth looking into.

I can understand why you'd want to put back 3 embryos if this might be your only shot at IVF but since your OB/GYN has the experience with the risk of a triplet pregnancy I'd follow her advice. I have also met a girl through one of the message boards I visit who lost her triplets at 4 months.

CJDR said...

your dr sounds amazing...her story actually gives me hope. People tell you ttc stories all the time, but for some reason this one brought on some tears...I know we are all going to be blessed soon....

Springroll said...

Hi Tanya -
Thanks for the input - yes, I know about the Generations of Hope organization, but we don't qualify because of our income levels. I think you have to demonstrate a real financial need for that.
Hope things are going okay for you!
Take care,
Spring Roll